in the blood
by TheChasm
Summary: "There's darkness inside you and one day it will show, proving you just as Black as any of them." / The darkness is in Sirius's blood and he can feel the storm brewing. Freeverse.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

**A/N: This is dedicated to Delta, the absolutely amazing person I share this account with ;)**

**Basically, yesterday afternoon I was struck by the urge to write some freeverses. I sat down to write a fluffy(ish) piece about Lily and got a good way through it; then today I suddenly sat down and wrote this, about Sirius, in about an hour. It's set during the First War, going from the time the Marauders left school to Sirius's imprisonment. I'm very proud of it, and I hope you'll enjoy it!**

* * *

Watch out, Sirius!

That **storm's** brewing –

but whether it's

**((**inside**)) **

or

**))**out**((**

is another question.

Insanity runs in your b^l^o^o^d, babe;

you're born to it.

**_-You can run, but you can't hide.-_**

And you're **Black** to the core

no matter how much you d-e-n-y it.

Why try to escape your legacy, little boy?

You could be the brightest s*t*a*r of ALL.

Thing is, you're still

**-SIRIUS BLACK-**

and b^l^o^o^d is thicker than w~a~t~e~r, after all.

Sometimes you catch the way they look at you

(fiery James and gentle Remus, quiet Peter and fierce Lily)

and you wonder if they can see the LIGHTNING behind your

storm-grey eyes.

There's **darkness** inside you

and one day it will _show_

proving you just as **Black** as any of them.

Bella with her insane laugh and cruel eyes;

Drommie all sharp and cool;

Cissy, frozen heart and icy smile;

and even R/e\g/u\l/u\s

is going down their path.

((You could have – should have protected him.))

.

No matter now, Sirius!

The full moon's rising and you can be **Black** without anyone noticing –

of _course,_ it's all to help Remus and not so that the icy wind

can mask your insane laugh.

You think you can do nothing wrong, **don't you?**

Darling, there's no such thing as a **Black **that's different.

Old Uncle Alphard liked to sneer at couples in {love}, did you know?

Drommie once pushed Cissy out the window, have you heard?

And you –

well, your record's far from **perfect.**

You're **Black **when you laugh at your friends' troubles

and **Black** when that Death Eater is too ~scared~ to let free

and the storm is brewing in your b^l^o^o^d.

Someday – someday they will r-e-a-l-i-s-e just WHAT you really are.

And you don't think they kept **Lucifer** in *heaven*, do you?

Stand in the wind and laugh your **Black** laugh

and try to burn away the **darkness** with your

G*r*y*f*f*i*n*d*o*r fire.

(Try and keep trying, but you'll never quite succeed.)

((Not even close.))

.

You've seen Remus b^l^e^e^d –

redredred and brilliant.

James, too –

his veins seep Gryffindor crimson.

Lily's blood is **fever-hot** against }angel-white{ bandages

and Peter's is shockingly scarlet.

But you?

Oh, **Sirius –**

when you b^l^e^e^d, it will be **Black.**

Dark as ink or a midnight sky,

dark as your **blackblack** heart.

.

One day you will SNAP

and all around you there'll be carnage

but it's always calmest in the eye of the storm, or so they say.

You've always gloried in _chaos_

((just like a good **Black**, you know))

and who's fool enough to trust a t-o-r-n-a-d-o?

All of them, apparently –

James puts his hand on your shoulder,

Lily gives you sugary cakes and sweeter s~m~i~l~e~s,

Peter whispers confidences in your {ear}

and Remus looks up at you with naïve eyes and lets you bathe his **wounds**.

(But James –

_I'm not worth it, I'm not worth you!_)

(But Lily –

_It's only a matter of time before that sweet smile will swap for terror._)

(But Peter –

_If there's a spy, Peter, it would be me, but there is no spy, Peter._)

(But Remus –

_I don't trust you and I should, but you look at me with innocent eyes and you believe in me._)

And Regulus?

He's the biggest fool of all,

who follows his **darkness** before falling in too

D

E

E

P

and you cannot pull his head above the water.

(But Sirius, you're **Black,** and would you save him if you could?)

.

The insanity in your b^l^o^o^d is growing, you know.

You see the **darkness **everywhere.

There are **shadows **in the street corners, flitting through crowded bars, breathing in James's air.

((Behind Remus's eyes.))

And you're **Black** to the core but you will keep James safe,

and if that means Remus is the s-p-y then **so be it.**

But the **darkness** is threatening to CONSUME you.

You will not risk James's life, or Lily's, or the baby's.

Oh, you _say_ it is because you're too obvious;

but really it's because you're too **Black.**

Peter will keep them safe.

Peter won't let you down.

((Will you, Peter?))

.

You've always known that someday you will SNAP.

It takes James's death to do it.

You can feel the **storm** coming to a

H E A D

and the **darkness** overcomes you.

Run, run, **run!**

Catch the traitor!

Make him b^l^e^e^d

and SCREAM

and b~e~g for m~e~r~c~y

and you will not kill him quickly.

(What **Black** puts people out of their misery?)

But the little rat e-s-c-a-p-e-s

and you are left with [empty hands]

and a **blackblack** laugh

which you cannot stop even when they throw you behind b|a|r|s.

Oh, laugh on, Sirius –

(_give into your INSANITY_)

after all, the **Blackness** is in your b^l^o^o^d.

* * *

**A/N: Please tell me what you thought in a review!**

**~Butterfly**


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